I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
