I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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