I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize