Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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