Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
