So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
