i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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