We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
