i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
i need some magic done to my vagina
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
