Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
