You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
