god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
