first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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