I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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