Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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