I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just had sex on a roof
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I have post one night stand depression
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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