i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
