You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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