I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
