i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
