we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
