dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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