Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
