she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
either way he was missing a nipple.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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