at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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