No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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