I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
