i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
