I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
