I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
