she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
