i may or may not be watching the land before time
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize