My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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