Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
