Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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