lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
