hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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