i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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