Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
