I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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