Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize