do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
where am i from again
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
