I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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