My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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