I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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