good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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