When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
