I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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