What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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