...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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