I bet he comes in French.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
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