If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Randomize
