she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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