Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You made out with two different species that night
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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