I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
is wine microwaveable?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
