Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
