just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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