what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
