Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Randomize
