I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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