i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I am available for nakedness
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
